EARLY CHILDHOOD (3 - 6 years)
Understanding
- Children this age think in simple, concrete and easy to visualize ways.
- They may see their scars as something ‘bad’ or caused by them doing something wrong.
How to talk about scars
- Use clear, easy to understand language 'the doctors fixed your heart and this mark shows where'
- Reassure safety and amazement at how your body can heal 'Your body is strong and healthy'
- Normalize appearance in a gentle way
Support Strategies
- Let the child ask the same questions frequently
- Use simple picture books or engage them in medical play with dolls
- Validate thier feelings and curiousity without over-explaining
Book Recommendations
- Zip-line by David Humpherys
- Extra Special Heart by Carli Valentine
- Super Scar by Melanie Tucker
MIDDLE CHILDHOOD (7 - 11 years)
Understanding
- Children this age better understand the ideas of cuase and effect and have a greater understanding of basic body systems.
- Children this age may begin to feel self-conscious or curious about differences
How to talk about scars
- Give more detail about the scar ‘this scar is from surgery that you had to help your heart pump properly’
- Encourage questions and correct any misconceptions
Support Strategies
- Practice simple explanations with them so they can explain their scar to their peers
- Reinforce their strengths and identity beyond their scar
Book Recommendations
- My Scar is beautiful by Caryn Shender
- Heart Sisters: A children’s book about living with a scar by Zayna Mohugharbel
ADOLESCENTS (12 years and up)
Understanding
- Thinking becomes more sophisticated, allowing adolescents to consider possibilities, consequences, and different perspectives
- Adolescents begin to have a strong focus on identity and body image
- Peer perception and feelings of belonging become very important
How to talk about scars
- Be open and honest; involve them in decisions regarding their body
- Discuss feelings openly about appearance and privacy
- Explore body image concerns
Support Strategies
- Help them come up with a script they can use when others ask about their scar
- Consider peer support groups (Hearts of Gold)
- Respect their autonomy
